Paige's Journal
by PoppyRocks101
Summary: <html><head></head>yeah, okay its not extremely lets say, GOOD. but i really want you guys to review and please tell me if you want me to update because i think i could make this a really cool little story! yeah, the tittle says it all. thanks!</html>
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys…. Sorry I lied about posting another chapter on A Love so Strong for who reads It. but I promise I will post more chapters very soon. Thank you! But for this story, let's just say I thought it would be a good idea for me to write a Degrassi fic. P.S I don't think this one is very good at all.

"I am Paige – and I am fabulous." I kept repeating. This is what I would say anytime I would start to doubt myself - This has been a lot lately.  
><em><span><strong>Journal entry 1<strong>_

**Hey, Paige here. I'm not really having too good of a life now. well, I'm talking to my friend Ellie a lot. We're like best buds! No way… ha-ha you thought I was serious, that cute little bitch could never be **_**my**_** best friend. Sure she's nice and all but I mean, COME ON she's a little depressed cutter! **

** Okay, I sort of bad mouthed one of my closest friends so, sorry el! She's the only one that can see through me. After all she's been through, (A/N: see stories by Daimeera.) she probably understands me better than my own mother! Because she sees that I'm really not the hot and glam Paige Micalchuk that everyone knows at school, but a lazy, mean, school-failing slut. I know how bad that sounds Ms. Kwan. But all of that is true, even if I have to kill myself for saying it, it's all true. ****And my therapist says it's good to notice the bad qualities in you because everyone has them. So I guess this is for you doctor!**** : P **

Yeah I know it sucks but PLEASE review! if you do I might write more of this and ACTUALLY make it better! Bye!


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry I haven't written for a while…. But I'm going to write another chapter of Paige's Journal.

Paige's Journal 2

Hey, I'm back. I still can't believe that I have to write this for a _class_! Well since I have to, I going to tell this journal about my day and FEELINGS.

"Ellie" I whispered. She was still asleep in her small hospital bed. This time she cut pretty badly. When she was just starting to wake up that afternoon,

I said "how are you feeling?"

She rubbed her eyes and said

"I should really stop doing that huh?" she chuckled.

_Hm. It was Ellie, what did I expect. She could be in the worst position ever but she would always find the time to joke. _I thought.

"Hey, Paige? Do you think I could get better?" Ellie asked me that day.

"Well no/yes. You have to try el! It won't just come to you. Look el, do you _want to _get better?"  
>"Yeah! Of course I want to get better... well, I don't know.<p>

"Okay Hun….talk to your therapist about this, okay?"

"Sure….."

When I left the hospital that afternoon, I wondered to myself: _how come Ellie cuts all the time? When I asked her about it she just said it makes her feel BETTER and takes out the pain she's feeling inside to the outside._

Well, I could try it….

but what if I end up like her?

Hey guys… do you think Paige'll cut herself? What if she _really_ ends up like Ellie? Have funnnnn reading!


	3. Chapter 3

JOURNAL ENTRY 2****

**Okay, Paige here. Today, I did something that made me feel a little bit better about myself**

**8:00 a.m. I wake up early in the morning thinking, I have no friends, I am such a bitch to little kids too! I started to sob. I thought I can write an innocent poem about my life. It went like this:**

_**My name is Paige.  
>I feel all alone.<br>No friends to visit,  
>no shoulder to cry on.<strong>_

_**My life is simple.  
>But it seems to be hard.<br>I don't feel like I can,  
>reach for the stars.<strong>_

_**Everyone hates me.  
>And I hate them too.<br>I guess I'm depressed,  
>but what can I do?<strong>_

_**I feel like a nut.  
>And I want to cut.<br>I don't feel bold,  
>and my life is cold.<strong>_

_**My life sucks.  
>I am failing school.<br>What happened to my life,  
>I used to be cool.<strong>_

_**There are others like this.  
>Do you know em'?<br>Here is my life,  
>in one innocent poem.<strong>_

**So here's my poem. Now you know a little bit more about my life Mrs. Kwan. I'll write what I did to make me feel a little better In the next journal entry.**

**Okay…. I really love the poem I made up….! I know it's really depressing but you know? Its Paige…. and that's kind of what the story is about…..**


	4. Chapter 4

Hey guys, chapter four… I hope you enjoy. But if you people don't review, I won't write anymore! Alright, here it is…

Journal entry 4

As I lay in bed yesterday thinking of how I could change my life - an idea struck me.

I thought I needed to be bold and pretty like I once was.

I need to be more exotic and fun, like I knew I could be.

A certain excitement passed through my body and I shivered – like there was a brand new beginning to my life.

I will go back to being the Paige Michalchuk that Hazel, Spinner and maybe even Alex thought I was.

But I'm not going to pretend anymore.

I'm going to be crazy and let it all out.

This is what I needed to do.

So that was the thing that I did to make me feel a little better about myself Mrs. Kwan.

How my day went:

I woke up at 12:30 in the afternoon on a school day, and decided to skip school today…

I got dressed in: huge black hoop earrings, a top basically only covering my boobs, sexy jean short shorts, really hot red stilettos, a scull necklace, and painted my nails black.

After I did all that I headed over to the piercing place down the street.

There were SO many piercings I could get, it was CRAZY.

There was one guy with too many tats and piercings to count that told me how incredibly hot I'd look if I got a bellybutton piercing.

So I decided on that, and a nose ring.

After they did their thing, I walked out almost completely ready for the real funky Paige to come out of her shell.

I just needed to get my hair done.

Okay, I LOVE my two new piercings! They look so hot! My bellybutton ring is pink and my nose ring is black.

I got into my red convertible and drove to my hair place.

I think I was more nervous about my hair than my holes in my body!

I just didn't think I could completely change my hair do.

Well, I DID get the nerve to ask Berta (my barber) to dye it all black and add fire engine red highlights.

And in addition to that, it was straitened and cut to shoulder length.

I couldn't say I didn't look sexy.

Okay so since I don't drink anymore, (and am not willing to change that) I went to my local gas station and bought a root beer.

So now I lay in bed thinking about my day, and I honestly don't regret a single thing I did today.

I don't feel as depressed as I was….

So as I slowly fell into unconsciousness I randomly thought about Ellie… and how come she cuts and burns herself when she can always just change her image….

I guess that only works for some people, or if it works at all.

And I slipped into the darkness…


End file.
